There are several warning signs of alcoholism but the four major signs are: cravings, impaired control, dependence, and tolerance.
When a person has cravings for alcohol, the person’s body is becoming addicted or is already addicted. A craving can be a small urge or an overpowering need for alcohol. Impaired control refers to when a person cannot stop drinking once he or she starts. People with impaired control will also sneak drinks when they believe no one is looking or they will guzzle a drink very quickly. Dependence refers to when a person’s body needs alcohol to function adequately or when a person needs a drink in order to think correctly. This is dangerous because it leads to alcohol being drunk at all hours of the day and night. Finally, tolerance refers to when a person drinks alcohol in larger quantities to acquire the desired effect. Overdosing is likely once tolerance is built up due to the fact that alcoholics do not realize the quantities they ingest.
The scariest part for me now looking back is that while i went through all of those phases of alcoholism i never truly identified them for what they really were. I always figured the obsession was normal because of all the new found fun and gusto drinking had given me for life. The denial continued further when the dependence kicked in and i would wake up in the morning with an ulcer and the shakes, knowing that alcohol would make my stomach feel better and give me a sense of control over my body again. But when i would wake up with those shakes and that ulcer i would have to start the process of lying to myself with justifications like ‘im shaking from to much coffee’, or ‘i have an ulcer from all the stress in my life’. Impaired control is what i drank for in the beginning and again in the end of my using, the sense of losing control and having the “freedom” to act and say what i wanted to was liberating to me at the time. But when i started getting arrested, being court ordered to substance abuse classes and outpatient treatment centers, ruining relationships with friends and my parents and putting myself in dangerous situations i could never put two and two together, me and alcohol just didnt mix well but it was my best friend and i couldnt accept that yet. Towards the end my tolerance came in the form of black outs. Really what i see now is my powerlessness over the alcohol and substances i used to use to “help me have fun” or “be myself”. What the alcohol and drugs did for me back then was push reality so far out of sight so that i could tolerate myself and the world around me but at the same time it built up a cage around me. Freedom from the bondadge of self like the Big Book says is what i have found in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and through working a program of recovery. Choosing to stay sober with the help of a higher power, the 12 steps, and a sponsor is not always easy, but i have gotten the most rewards and joy out of life through that hard work than any other way i have lived so far.