Another Celebrity in Rehab
Actress Kirsten Dunst has checked in to rehab and is also apparently involved in a rehab romance. It is not known who this mystery man is but relationships while in drug and alcohol rehab is never a good idea. There are multiple reason why, but the most important are because the addict needs to focus on herself. Part of any successful rehab program requires that the addict do self-realization activities in order for that person to understand why he or she started using drugs and/or alcohol. When a person’s attention is focused on someone else, there is little time left for the all-important self-reflection.
Another reason why a person in rehab should not be involved in a rehab romance is because when the relationship in question turns sour, a relapse could, and often is, triggered. Not only is the addict not making recovery the priority, he or she hides the ugly side of addiction. It is human nature to show a more favorable side when starting a new relationship. This is normally innocent but admitting the negative sides of oneself is crucial for any shot at sobriety once outside of treatment.
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April 1st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
We tend to attract romantic partners with a similar amount of emotional baggage to our own. We don’t get to rehab because we’re emotionally healthy, so the people we meet there are probably not in a good place either. When a newly sober addict thinks they have found the perfect mate, it might help to ask this: “If he/she is so perfect, why on earth would they want to be with me?”
April 1st, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Wow…I can relate to Kristen Durst having many romances while using alcohol and drugs my thirst for outside validation came from a man. As I turn back the pages of time when I am driving the bus of self will, part of my disease was to have romances in order to accept myself. So when I ended the relationship, if you could call it one, I would sink further down by using more alcohol and drugs to hide what I was feeling not good enough again. Today I am a woman in recovery; I am okay with who I am without having to look for outside justification. In my early recovery, it was suggested that I work the program of recovery for a year or more before I looked at romance. This was a great suggestion but I didn’t follow her advice and when the romance was over I drank again. I didn’t understand until I got honest in the program of recovery that romance for me is used like a drug. Kristen Durst hopefully learned pick up some tools from her rehab center to get her back on track but she needs to reach deep to find out why the romance seems more important then her life
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I know for me, the second i put something in front of my recovery, im bound to lose whatever im focused on as well as my recovery, ive seen it happen a dozen times. I can use anything to get me out of my self, or to keep the attention off of me. Recovery for me has been a lot of self searching and coming to know myself for who i really am, i’ve only scratched the surface so far yet so many great things are already starting to transpire in my life. When i lose focus of whats helped get me to this point (a higher power, a sponsor, the steps, working with other alcoholics) i begin to lose all the joy i’ve found in working the program of alcoholics anonymous. I can get lost in a relationship, a hobby, other peoples problems, politics. Whatever it is, im trying to avoid looking at something about myself. My experience with seeing relationships develop in early sobriety is that of watching a train wreck. One person i know who hopped from girl to girl in early recovery is dead now. Another, one was able to pull up and get back involved in the program, but the other wound up using again and just got out of jail with three years probation. Even in the rooms they talk about the one year without sex or a relationship, and knowing that were not all saints not everyone sticks to it, but it wouldnt be there if there wasnt a reason for it.
April 6th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
i can relate to this, although it is good to see public people in recovery i wish they took it with greater attitude