3 Months on Girl Ban – By Blaine K
From the time of April to the end of July, I was on girl ban. Girl ban is put in place when inappropriate situations surface as a relationship. That is how my story on girl ban came along. I was in an inappropriate relationship with a female resident for a while. I was in a bad place at that time being miserable, depressed, and looking for outside validation because I did not like myself. When this came out in an emergency circle, I was livid. I thought I could get away with this and never talk about it. That was my plan. Once it was done, I was placed on girl ban. In the beginning, I was very resentful and decided to stop caring about everything and live in self will. I was getting in more trouble with staff, residents always wanting to help me and put on a tight leash. I was even more miserable because I was just taking up a bed and not working on my program. I had a staff member say that I will get kicked out if I mess up one more time. That was my wake up call. I knew if I was kicked out I was going out using again without a doubt in my mind. I started with just praying for the strength to change. I was taking baby steps with everything now. Doing my step work, talking to my sponsor, talk about my true feelings, reaching out when I need help, and get rid of my entitlement about everything. After about 2 months of this I became the person I wanted to be. I started to step up, and completely surrender to my higher power. It’s amazing to see my transformation and others affirming me about my change. I now have a voice in the community and help out others with this situation. I share my experience, strength and hope and let others know why a relationship in rehab is very life threatening. Not just for you but also the other person. It will mess you up and even use again. If you get anything out of this just understand what will happen if you get in a relationship. Think twice about this and talk to your sponsor about this feeling. You can change the situation because if you really care about the person, the greatest way to show it is by not getting involved. You’ll save a life in that process. Remember that.
Blaine K is a long term resident at Gatehouse Academy undergoing addiction treatment
