Serenity Proves difficult While Holding Expectations
Written by Kelli S.
“Perhaps the best thing of all for me to remember is that my serenity is inversely proportional to all my expectations.”
-Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 420
I have to remind myself this every single day. One of my biggest character defects is holding too high of expectations for myself and others. For me it’s simple, when I hold high expectations for myself and others and I or they don’t meet them I get resentful and fall into self-pity mode. Yes it is simple but not easy. I think the hardest part for me is that I tend to be a perfectionist. I want to be the best at everything I do and I have a hard time dealing with mistakes that I make. Over the past ten months I have learned that I’m not and never will be “perfect”.
After coming to this realization I’ve become so much more serene and content. I have learned to set goals rather than expectations. A goal is something that I can always work towards without set standards and time frames. My sponsor always tells me that expectations are pre-conceived resentments and for us alcoholics, resentments are our number one offender. If we hold onto them we will surely drink again. If I drink I’ll die and today I want to live!
Kelly is a current resident in Gatehouse Academy’s drug rehab program, and offers her review of the experience she has had in addiction treatment thus far.
October 23rd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
thanks for the post.
I like that line from the Big Book
A lot of recovery addicts stuggle with perfection. We seem, as a group, to always want to get it right the first time. However, we do figure that as long as progress is made that is about as close to perfection as we will get.