I started getting high regularly at the age of 18. I thought it was normal to binge drink and smoke when in college. Everyone else is doing it and it seems acceptable, why not? At first, it was a complete blast, except when I drank too much and got sick of course. I didn’t face many consequences during these 5 ½ years. From driving plastered on my crotch rocket to random fights, I could’ve killed myself or someone else a countless amount of times. I somehow completed college with a mediocre GPA of 2.75. The drinking and drugging should’ve decreased from this point forward. This happened for my other friends, but not for me. I found myself on this brutal cycle of using daily and partying even harder when I would go out with friends. My friends could stop drinking at 2 am. I didn’t understand why. As the years passed, I started going on 3 and 4-day benders with not a wink of shut eye. The drugs got harder, the values got worse, the debt got bigger, and the consequences got worse. After a bone break with multiple fractures, I was prescribed “pain medication.” This was the beginning of the end for my drug use. I started as prescribed and within 3 months, I was full blown captivated. The grip that the meds took of me was unfathomable. An acquaintance of mine warned me that I was “playing with fire” and I was down for it. I somehow managed this addiction for a year after going through all of my savings and ended up in my first 28-day treatment program. When I got out, I thought I just had a problem with the pain meds and could continue to drink occasionally. Boy was I wrong. I thought a nice girl could save me. Wrong again. I then got this great job which I knew would definitely save me. Nope. Wrong once more. Hopeless and broke, I’d lowered myself to anything I needed to do to attain my drugs. All values and morals gone. I was basically a drug-induced sociopath. Several treatments later, I ended up at Gatehouse. I got beat into the ground so hard, I became willing. I’m not taking it day by day and gradually learning how to live without drinking and drugging.

Of course I can’t share my entire experience for you in this blog, though you can see the progression of this cunning, baffling, powerful, and insidious disease of addiction.

Written By: Shawn

Related Resources

Long Term Drug & Alcohol Rehab

Arizona Drug Rehab Centers

Drug Rehab for Young Adults

Information of Drug & Alcohol Rehab

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Progression of my Addiction

[Fear] was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling?

When I arrived at Gatehouse, I was deep in a drug-induced psychosis. I couldn’t tell up from down. My existence was shot through with fear, delusion and intrusive thought I could not control. I felt that the other residents wanted to kill me, that Gatehouse w2as a pyramid scheme and that there was no way of avoiding being robbed and left for dead by the staff. I made strange, symbolic connections and couldn’t trust the process. I believed myself to be doomed.

On my first or second day at the Hassayampa River Ranch, nine miles down a dirt road in Wickenburg, Arizona, other residents and I sat around a room and gave each other solutions to our problems taken from the Big Book. When it came time for me to describe my problem, I said, “Everybody hates me. I have no friends.” Tears streamed down my face. Another resident, Patrick Odess, leaned over, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “I want to be your friend, John.” I immediately stopped crying, and have only cried once since that day. The next time I cried was yesterday, June 10th.

I sat in Circle, where residents tell each other how they feel and express their concern for each other. I was convinced that no one was angry at me or concerned. I was living in a delusion and had not yet surrendered after eleven and a half months at Gatehouse. I had come a long way, but I had not yet completely given up the fight. Resident after resident expressed deep concern for me, giving me specific reasons why they felt such alarm and fear for me. Anthony Marengo, the program director and my co-sponsor, offered me the chance to clear the air, bare my soul and express my feelings. He said I could do it another time if that made me feel more comfortable.

“[I] stood at the turning point. [I] asked [God’s] protection and care with complete abandon.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 59) I began to speak: “I’m John and I’m an alcoholic. I am concerned that…” And everything came rushing forth. I told the whole community how Bipolar Disorder had affected my life. I told them all about my fears and shame. The tears came quickly once I opened up. I suddenly realized that I had surrendered. There was nothing left to do at the end of Circle. It was the first day of the rest of my life.

Post from: Drug Rehab Blog from Gatehouse Academy

Surrender

Written by: Ethan D

For three weeks out of our year stay in Gatehouse we have family workshops.  All separated by about a 2 month period.  For some it is a very difficult experience but for most all it creates a lot of growth in their lives.  I’m in the middle of my second.  I have a variety of different emotion but am very optimistic because of how well my first went.  The first workshop deals with getting everything out to our family, and letting them know where we have come from and what we are dealing with.

The growth my family experience through this workshop was mind blowing.  I’ve never been able to connect to my family in the way I did this week.  It has created a family atmosphere for us that we can now build on our recovery together, and not have any more questions of the past but only look towards the future.  List work is a large part of the workshops.  The first workshop only the residents have it but as the second and third approach the entire families enjoy this process.  The question differs from what the certain workshop is dealing with but always proves a challenge for all.  The list work is done in front of the rest of the workshop families and residents and is always followed up with feedback as well as advice and affirmations.  These workshops clue into the idea that this is a family disease and that it affect us all.  It is the key to a healthy life with our families and a milestone in our recovery.  Without these workshops some of us may never be able to talk to our families again, but for some of us it is the first time we will every really truly talk to our families.  I cannot thank Gatehouse enough for what they have done for me and my family.

Ethan is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s drug rehab program.  He offers his review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson he has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

Post from: Drug Rehab Blog from Gatehouse Academy

Family Workshop Experience at Gatehouse Academy

Written by Scott E.

There are many positives to Gatehouse.  One of them is having a big support group around you at all times.  There are many good things about this; having a big support group around you at all times means whenever you are struggling, there is always someone around for you to talk to and relate with.  You also have people that can hold you accountable and people who can tell when you are struggling and can reach out and help you.  School is another positive.  Taking school at Gatehouse means I can slowly get back into my education, one class at a time.  The entire accommodations and living aspect is another positive.  We learn how to live a responsible and sober life and how to manage food and keep the house clean.  The life skills block is another great part of Gatehouse Academy.  In life skills we get to learn how to handle all aspects of life that will be helpful to us after we commence.  I have a lot of fun at group sports.  It’s a great opportunity to exercise.  It also brings us closer as a community and allows us to build trust with one another.  The houses are really nice here.  We get to live in several houses and bond as a family.  Work ethic is an important part of the program; we have several different jobs done in the morning to teach us how to handle having a job and going even if we don’t want to.  I’m on car crew right now.  There are many positive aspects of Gatehouse, and I am grateful for all of them.

Scott is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s drug rehab program.  He offers his review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson he has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

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The Positives of Gatehouse Academy

Written by Becca G.

When I became a senior resident I was really surprised.  I think it’s really cool that Gatehouse gives people leadership positions like senior resident or RA.  It really helped me see that the progress I’ve made here was being recognized and that helped motivate me to step up more.  It’s also given me an opportunity to help newcomers more, especially being able to talk to people on newcomer ban.  It’s also nice to be trusted a little more with things such as holding onto the RA phone.  It sounds really small, but to me it felt like a pretty big deal.  Because of how much trust I’ve lost with everyone in my life because of my using, being trusted even the smallest amount is really exciting.

Becca is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s addiction treatment program.  She offers her review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson she has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

Post from: Drug Rehab Blog from Gatehouse Academy

Developing The Leader In Me

Written by: Coleen F.

As a resident at Gatehouse I struggled with not being able to see my parents and sister very much.  I didn’t think that a family workshop could help my relationship with my parents.  I just completed my third and final workshop and I cannot believe the changes that have occurred within my family.  My father and I didn’t have a relationship before I came to Gatehouse, but through the family workshops we have gotten to know each other and have found that we are very much alike.  Today I am able to appreciate my family and respect and love them.  I am also happy to realize that even though I am sober my family as a whole is not perfect.  We are still going to have arguments and disagreements but today we can work through them in a healthy way, when in the past I would have drank over it.  I am so grateful for my families’ work and for the help of Gatehouse during the family workshops.

Coleen is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s addiction treatment program.  She offers her review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson she has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

Families of residents attend 4 Family Workshops during their stay at Gatehouse Academy.

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Family Workshop Experience at Gatehouse Academy

This week, let’s tackle a very controversial subject in the field of addiction treatment – does recovery from addiction or alcoholism involve finding a cure?

Some medical professionals, as well as treatment models, believe a cure lies in the form of a pill.  Antabuse and Methadone are probably the most familiar replacement drugs used to treat alcohol or opiate addiction. The idea of replacement therapy is that by creating a medication that safely fulfill the needs of the addiction, the addicted person will be able to live a productive life.

Looking at this solution from a rational perspective, it would appear that the medication acts as a crutch for the addict to rely on.  In other words, it simply creates a new addiction to the medication meant to cure the ailment.  An example can be seen at local methadone clinics, where hundreds line up to get their daily allotment of the medication.  It is apparent that this is the lesser of two evils, but the reality is that it doesn’t support the theory of the cure to addiction coming in the form of a pill.

The polar opposite school of thought comes from the 12 Step perspective.  The core thought being, “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” This idea can be compared to a person suffering from cancer.

Once someone is diagnosed with cancer and receives successful treatment – it is never considered ‘cured.’  It may go into remission, but the chance always remains that it can return without reason or notice.  According to the 12 Steps, addiction works just the same way – the disease is never cured, rather it is arrested for a period of time and can return if the work is not done to keep it at bay.

In the final analysis, it is up to each individual to decide for themselves how they view addiction. What do you think?

Post from: Drug Rehab Blog from Gatehouse Academy

Is There Really a Cure???

Written by Kelly E.

Adventures in Recovery (AIR) has just returned from its 11^th major adventure trip and it’s 1st major adventure from our new location at San Cristobal, NM.

Destination – Chaco Culture National Historical Park located in a vast isolated area in Northwestern NM. Several days of hiking in the back-country through massive Aztec ruins and remnants of an ancient advanced civilization, coupled with intensive recovery work produced an outstanding and undeniable result of spiritual and emotional development and change – precisely the purpose of AIR.

Nights in the bivvys dipped to 20 degrees but spirits remained high as the opportunity for such an adventure outweighed the obvious discomfort.  Work ethic and nightly AA meetings in the group remained constant, demonstrating that consistency with recovery disciplines is not limited to a specific treatment setting, but goes with them in their everyday lives no matter where they are.

The fact that they are not the center of the universe was brought home in a big way as they surveyed the vastness around them and contemplated the generations of people who have walked the same path before them, both in a historical cultural sense as well as in a recovery sense. The sense of humility was evident as several residents verbalized a new understanding of being a small part of a great whole and that sobriety in and of itself without any material gain is the reward of this way of life.

Kelly Egan is the Program Manager at Gatehouse Academy’s outdoor adventure wilderness program.  Residents receive a once in a lifetime experience to work with horses surrounded by the majestic mountains of Taos, NM.  On average, 10 to 12 young men and women get to experience a very different form of Drug Rehab – using Nature as a motivator towards Recovey

Post from: Drug Rehab Blog from Gatehouse Academy

Recovery Through Nature

According to an article from the Scotsman newspaper in Scotland, figures show that the drug death toll has reached record highs in that country. There was an increase in the deaths of older users.

What health experts there refer to as the “trainspotting generation,” they say is responsible for the increase in deaths. This generation is the one that starting injecting heroin in the late 1980s and 1990s in Scotland.

“A new report shows drug deaths have increased by more than a quarter in the past year, with the number of fatalities rising significantly among older people.”

The deaths related to drug abuse have raised a whopping 131 percent over the past ten years in Scotland, leading the government to start thinking about taking urgent action towards the problem.

“Figures show the 35-44 age bracket made up 30 per cent of drug-related fatalities and 37 per cent were aged between 25 and 34 years old.”

In Scotland the number of deaths rose much faster in the 35-44 age bracket and also in the 45 and older age bracket.

“Experts said Scotland was dealing with a legacy reaching as far back as the late 1970s and 1980s, when many people began experimenting with drugs for the first time. Those injecting drugs such as heroin 20 years ago are now inheriting a range of serious health problems, including heart and respiratory illnesses, which, in some cases, are leading to premature death.”

Heroin and morphine were the cause of most of the deaths reported in the country, especially among men.  Drug users are dying in Scotland because of a lack of care and treatment, according to the article.  The article states that because of a lack of services in the country drug users are waiting upwards of two years to receive treatment and that is why addicts are dying, the lack of drug rehab programs available.

Post from: Drug Rehab Blog from Gatehouse Academy

Older generation blamed as drug deaths soar in Scotland

According to an article from The Independent out of the United Kingdom, “Britain faces a rise in domestic violence, alcoholism and drug addiction unless more is done to head off social problems intensified by the recession, the local authority watchdog has warned.”

This is being referred to as the “second wave” of the global recession, and it could have worse side effects than the long term job loss. People who are out of work and unmotivated might be turning to drugs or alcohol as an outlet.  This study has been released this week by the Audit Commission in the United Kingdom.  This commission thinks that the government in the UK is not doing enough to combat the other consequences of a recession.

“The commission also criticised the Government for rushing through the introduction of around 50 different schemes designed to tackle the effects of the recession, creating confusion.”

Because the demand for unemployment benefits is up, the commission sees the social issues that are implications of a recession falling to the wayside because there were inadequate resources to be dealing with it in the first place. And if these programs run out of money, people will get left behind and be forced to deal with their problems on their own.

The longer someone is unable, the more likely it is that they will turn to alcohol or drugs for comfort, which may in turn result in the need for drug rehab to get them back on their feet.  The increase is also seen in crime rates, for things like domestic violence.

Post from: Drug Rehab Blog from Gatehouse Academy

Report says recession will cause rise in alcoholism and drug addiction