Written by: Ethan D

For three weeks out of our year stay in Gatehouse we have family workshops.  All separated by about a 2 month period.  For some it is a very difficult experience but for most all it creates a lot of growth in their lives.  I’m in the middle of my second.  I have a variety of different emotion but am very optimistic because of how well my first went.  The first workshop deals with getting everything out to our family, and letting them know where we have come from and what we are dealing with.

The growth my family experience through this workshop was mind blowing.  I’ve never been able to connect to my family in the way I did this week.  It has created a family atmosphere for us that we can now build on our recovery together, and not have any more questions of the past but only look towards the future.  List work is a large part of the workshops.  The first workshop only the residents have it but as the second and third approach the entire families enjoy this process.  The question differs from what the certain workshop is dealing with but always proves a challenge for all.  The list work is done in front of the rest of the workshop families and residents and is always followed up with feedback as well as advice and affirmations.  These workshops clue into the idea that this is a family disease and that it affect us all.  It is the key to a healthy life with our families and a milestone in our recovery.  Without these workshops some of us may never be able to talk to our families again, but for some of us it is the first time we will every really truly talk to our families.  I cannot thank Gatehouse enough for what they have done for me and my family.

Ethan is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s drug rehab program.  He offers his review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson he has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

Written by Scott E.

There are many positives to Gatehouse.  One of them is having a big support group around you at all times.  There are many good things about this; having a big support group around you at all times means whenever you are struggling, there is always someone around for you to talk to and relate with.  You also have people that can hold you accountable and people who can tell when you are struggling and can reach out and help you.  School is another positive.  Taking school at Gatehouse means I can slowly get back into my education, one class at a time.  The entire accommodations and living aspect is another positive.  We learn how to live a responsible and sober life and how to manage food and keep the house clean.  The life skills block is another great part of Gatehouse Academy.  In life skills we get to learn how to handle all aspects of life that will be helpful to us after we commence.  I have a lot of fun at group sports.  It’s a great opportunity to exercise.  It also brings us closer as a community and allows us to build trust with one another.  The houses are really nice here.  We get to live in several houses and bond as a family.  Work ethic is an important part of the program; we have several different jobs done in the morning to teach us how to handle having a job and going even if we don’t want to.  I’m on car crew right now.  There are many positive aspects of Gatehouse, and I am grateful for all of them.

Scott is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s drug rehab program.  He offers his review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson he has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

Written by Becca G.

When I became a senior resident I was really surprised.  I think it’s really cool that Gatehouse gives people leadership positions like senior resident or RA.  It really helped me see that the progress I’ve made here was being recognized and that helped motivate me to step up more.  It’s also given me an opportunity to help newcomers more, especially being able to talk to people on newcomer ban.  It’s also nice to be trusted a little more with things such as holding onto the RA phone.  It sounds really small, but to me it felt like a pretty big deal.  Because of how much trust I’ve lost with everyone in my life because of my using, being trusted even the smallest amount is really exciting.

Becca is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s addiction treatment program.  She offers her review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson she has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

Written by: Coleen F.

As a resident at Gatehouse I struggled with not being able to see my parents and sister very much.  I didn’t think that a family workshop could help my relationship with my parents.  I just completed my third and final workshop and I cannot believe the changes that have occurred within my family.  My father and I didn’t have a relationship before I came to Gatehouse, but through the family workshops we have gotten to know each other and have found that we are very much alike.  Today I am able to appreciate my family and respect and love them.  I am also happy to realize that even though I am sober my family as a whole is not perfect.  We are still going to have arguments and disagreements but today we can work through them in a healthy way, when in the past I would have drank over it.  I am so grateful for my families’ work and for the help of Gatehouse during the family workshops.

Coleen is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s addiction treatment program.  She offers her review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson she has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

Families of residents attend 4 Family Workshops during their stay at Gatehouse Academy.

Written by Asia F

During my addiction, my life revolved around using drugs.

Now, while in sobriety at Gatehouse Academy, I am constantly busy. There are a multitude of activities. The physical activities at Gatehouse Academy include: yoga, karate and full body workout. Other activities include: group therapy, art, auto, life skills, school and Literature study.

The community is divided into groups, in which you would have group therapy with twice a week. Each group has school once a day, Monday through Friday.  Literature study is a one hour activity where portions of the Big Book are read and questions are answered. Life skills classes are run by a staff member, and the block covers a large amount of subjects that relate to aspects of healthy and responsible living. There are three, one hour blocks everyday.

The weekend activities include: yoga, peer on peer and literature study. Peer on peer is a block where residents bring up struggles and residents find solutions in the Big Book. The activities help residents grow and learn in recovery.

Needless to say I rarely get bored.

Asia is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s addiction treatment program.  She offers her review and testimonial by telling us about activities she has experienced in our 12-Step curriculum.

With rumors circulating about Tiger Woods coming to Wickenburg for treatment at the Meadows – A few staff at Gatehouse Academy would like to take a stance on the issue.

From Mike Baldassare, Director of Marketing:

If Tiger were to seek treatment for Sex Addiction, in our opinion, it would not be an excuse to pin blame on an addiction.  Instead, it would be viewed as an admission of wrong doing and a willingness to take responsibility for harms done.

As people who have committed similar transgressions, we may be a little more sympathetic than the general public.  Call us ‘glass-half-full’ optimists, but Tiger is human.  In our own pursuit of perfection, we found out we have flaws as part of our human make-up.

It is our strong belief that, no matter how bad it is, no matter how many times you do it – you always deserve another chance.  It us our hope that people may be open to giving tiger just that – a chance for taking responsibility and receiving forgiveness.

From Matt Brown, Admissions:

Many are asking about the differences between Tiger Wood’s supposed sex addiction and what most would consider “normal” drug addiction.  In my experience in working with addicts the line between the two is invisible.  The motivation for the addict is the same, whether their drug of choice is sex or cocaine.  The objective is to change how we feel in the moment.  The method of executing that change can vary from drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or a myriad of other methods.  The result is the same, we get the instant gratification we are seeking to change how we feel.
So if I’m asked what the difference is between Tiger Woods and I guy like me, whose drugs of choice were cocaine and alcohol, I say there is none.  If in fact Tiger Woods is a sex addict, we are just two guys who took different roads to get to the same place, and we both left wreckage along the way.  We both hurt spouses and family members.  On the positive side, if a person with an addiction, whatever the addiction may be, can find a way to replace the need for instant gratification with something meaningful and lasting, real happiness can be had.  It requires hard work and a strong support system, but the work is always worth it.

From Todd Welch, Director of Admissions:

The recent events in the Life of golfing icon Tiger Woods reflect a level of unmanageability with regard to love, attachment, and sex that is indicative of addiction.  Addiction research has demonstrated the strong similarity between sex and love addictions and drug and alcohol addiction, insofar as these behaviors all stimulate the reward center of the brain.  Furthermore, the antisocial aspects of infidelity can also be alluring and addictive.  The reward center of the brain desires satisfaction through the simplest means and can sometimes, in the situation of a loss of control through addiction, override the executive and social-conscience based functions of the higher brain, or frontal lobe.  Perhaps Tiger tasted the high of an enlarged and seductive romantic life and fell into the powerlessness of repeated mistakes and uncharacteristic behavior associated with addiction.  Of course, he will be chastised from the Moral camp and those who undoubtedly biased by our society’s very Judeo-Christian inheritance of ideas about sex and right relations.  In any case, the man cannot be happy at this point.  He is not a victim, unless one can victimize oneself.  He must take responsibility for the awareness of a problem in his life and internalize the need for a responsible path to recovery, happy living, and hopefully more championships.

From Justin Dufour, Admissions:

I first must start by saying that I truly believe that drug addiction, alcoholism, compulsive gambling and of course sex addiction are diseases and are a matter of powerlessness, not bad decisions.  This is an important opinion to state before diving into the Tiger Woods situation and whether or not he should or will go to a treatment center.  If you don’t buy into the disease aspect of addiction then I can assure you that you have probably never seen a loved one on countless occasions make irrational decisions for their addiction.  How else do you explain a mother abandoning a child and their duties as a parent to get a fix of heroin?  Do you really believe they don’t love their child?  If you witness a loved one who you have spent years around and truly know that they are a good person and all of a sudden when afflicted by drug addiction or alcoholism turns on everything and everyone that they have ever loved, than you are probably convinced that these kinds of addictions are all about powerlessness.  Before this blog becomes about something it’s not, I will say that addicts and alcoholics need to be held responsible for anything and everything that they do while in their hopeless state of mind and body.  They aren’t off the hook at all for their actions and especially not the addict who is shown the path to recovery because they have options and are given a spiritual tool-set that can help them recover like the millions that attend 12 step meetings every day.  So now that you know where I stand on the nature of addiction I must say that I believe there is a very good possibility that Tiger Woods is a sex addict and maybe addicted to more things that the public may not yet know about but with that said if he does choose to go to treatment for his addictions at this point in his life it will be nothing more than a public relations maneuver, and a very good one at that.

See Tiger Woods has probably the best crisis management team in the world working around the clock by his side at this time.  What these professionals do is script out every move for a star or athlete to help them start to repair the damage they have created.  And what these professionals know is that there is a large population like myself who believe that addiction is a disease of powerlessness.  So why wouldn’t they encourage Tiger to go to treatment for sex addiction, it is the ultimate ploy to turn public opinion, almost make Tiger a sympathetic figure.  Instead of “what a scumbag for doing that to that nice, young woman,” you might here more of “it’s too bad he ruined his marriage,” and “I hope he can come back from this.”  It’s brilliant.  Now they may be able to achieve this without treatment.  He could go on Oprah and cry during an interview and go back to the golf course and start winning again.  Ultimately what will bring Tiger back is some kind of public interview and winning majors which is what he does best.  There are plenty of examples in sports of these come backs, Kobe and A-rod to name a few.  Both images were done being repaired when they won world championships.  In sports there is a saying, winning cures everything, this may be sad but it’s true.  Who knows what Tiger will eventually decide to do but if he does go to treatment it won’t be because he wants recovery.  This is probably the strongest willed athlete in the history of the world and I just don’t believe at this point in his life that he believes he is powerless over anything.  This may come for him in time but it will take more heart-ache and loss.  Honestly, it may never come for him because he has so much cushioning and enabling around him that may prevent him from ever hitting a bottom.  He needs someone other than his wife to be honest with him about his behavior and when you are the world’s number one athlete and a billionaire, you just aren’t surrounded by many people to keep you in check.  When Tiger asks for something he gets it, he probably doesn’t hear the word “no” too often, don’t believe me, ask some of his mistresses.

Many are asking about the differences between Tiger Wood’s supposed sex addiction and what most would consider “normal” drug addiction.  In my experience in working with addicts the line between the two is invisible.  The motivation for the addict is the same, whether their drug of choice is sex or cocaine.  The objective is to change how we feel in the moment.  The method of executing that change can vary from drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or a myriad of other methods.  The result is the same, we get the instant gratification we are seeking to change how we feel.  So if I’m asked what the difference is between Tiger Woods and I guy like me, whose drugs of choice were cocaine and alcohol, I say there is none.  If in fact Tiger Woods is a sex addict, we are just two guys who took different roads to get to the same place, and we both left wreckage along the way.  We both hurt spouses and family members.  On the positive side, if a person with an addiction, whatever the addiction may be, can find a way to replace the need for instant gratification with something meaningful and lasting, real happiness can be had.  It requires hard work and a strong support system, but the work is always worth it.

In a recent Entertainment Weekly article, Arrested ‘Big Brother’ champ ordered into drug rehab, it has been made aware that Adam Jasinski, winner of 9th season of the Big Brother Series, was arrested for possession of over 2000 pills of the drug oxycodone.

The story brings up the idea of how we, as addicts and alcoholics, felt invincible when we out in the world ‘running and gunning.’

Our drinking and using brings most of us to a depth of insanity that many will never experience.  It is usually based in the realm of the delusion – the idea that things are not as bad as everyone says they are.

It is at the point that the lies we tell ourselves catch up to us, that we begin to realize how vulnerable and mortal we really are.

The scary part is that most young adults are quite resilient, and always return with a strong will to survive and not get caught next time.  This is why a long term addiction treatment option is so important.  When those feelings of invincibility return, which the inevitably do – the addict will still be in treatment, and less likely to go try it on his or her own again.

We hope, for Mr. Jasinski’s sake, he was court ordered to more than 28days.  If not, we are scared his insanity will drive him to do the same thing time and time again – every time expecting thing to be different.

Do you remember the invincible feeling? What happened to you that made you want to stop? Do you have a story to share about being court ordered to drug rehab? Did you ever feel like you we ‘famous’ because of your ability to obtain drugs?

According to Psych Central, “Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.”

Its an intriguing question to ask about the recent Tiger Woods infidelity scandal – Does T-W need to seek help for his recent behavior? Can we go as far to say he needs to complete Sexual Addiction Treatment? Would it excuse some of his ‘transgressions’ if he were to go to admit he needed help? Would it do anything for his problem given his social status, or we he just return to cheating?

Tiger’s latest actions meet some of the criteria that would suggest it might be a more serious problem.  We know, as addicts ourselves, that when the actions of our addiction start to drastically effect our family – we may need to take a closer look at the situation.

Written by Angela A.

In everyday life, I struggle with letting myself let go of how others live their lives, and letting go of control in mine.  It is definitely easier for me to realize that I am powerless over what people do, how they do it, why they do it, and where they do it.  By reviewing my 1^st step, I realize that my powerlessness over others needs to be given away to my Higher Power in my 3^rd step.

There are many times when I want to shake those I love and tell them that what they want is not what they need.  I have to realize that I cannot change anyone.  An individual can only change him or herself.  I have also been in situations where I do not want to live in the moment; however, I have to realize that my Higher Power puts me in specific moments to learn a particular life lesson that He has set before me.

When I live my life according to God’s will, which is doing the next right thing, I am much more content.  When I let others live their own life, I am more focused and less frustrated.  Thank God I don’t have to play God anymore.

Angela is currently enrolled as a resident in Gatehouse Academy’s addiction treatment program.  She offers her review and testimonial by telling us about a lesson she has learned from our 12-Step curriculum.

This week, let’s tackle a very controversial subject in the field of addiction treatment – does recovery from addiction or alcoholism involve finding a cure?

Some medical professionals, as well as treatment models, believe a cure lies in the form of a pill.  Antabuse and Methadone are probably the most familiar replacement drugs used to treat alcohol or opiate addiction. The idea of replacement therapy is that by creating a medication that safely fulfill the needs of the addiction, the addicted person will be able to live a productive life.

Looking at this solution from a rational perspective, it would appear that the medication acts as a crutch for the addict to rely on.  In other words, it simply creates a new addiction to the medication meant to cure the ailment.  An example can be seen at local methadone clinics, where hundreds line up to get their daily allotment of the medication.  It is apparent that this is the lesser of two evils, but the reality is that it doesn’t support the theory of the cure to addiction coming in the form of a pill.

The polar opposite school of thought comes from the 12 Step perspective.  The core thought being, “We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” This idea can be compared to a person suffering from cancer.

Once someone is diagnosed with cancer and receives successful treatment – it is never considered ‘cured.’  It may go into remission, but the chance always remains that it can return without reason or notice.  According to the 12 Steps, addiction works just the same way – the disease is never cured, rather it is arrested for a period of time and can return if the work is not done to keep it at bay.

In the final analysis, it is up to each individual to decide for themselves how they view addiction. What do you think?