Video Replay of Tiger Woods Statments – 2/19/10

Above is a video replay of Tiger Woods‘ public address on February 19th. Feel free to re-watch today’s statements.

Is it just us, or are the principles Tiger is talking about based in the code of conduct described by the 12 steps?  Integrity, Service, Amends, Atonement, Boundaries, Cravings, Actions speak louder than words…

AMEN BROTHER!

Looks like you may have picked up a tool or two while attending a sex addiction treatment center.

With rumors circulating about Tiger Woods coming to Wickenburg for treatment at the Meadows – A few staff at Gatehouse Academy would like to take a stance on the issue.

From Mike Baldassare, Director of Marketing:

If Tiger were to seek treatment for Sex Addiction, in our opinion, it would not be an excuse to pin blame on an addiction.  Instead, it would be viewed as an admission of wrong doing and a willingness to take responsibility for harms done.

As people who have committed similar transgressions, we may be a little more sympathetic than the general public.  Call us ‘glass-half-full’ optimists, but Tiger is human.  In our own pursuit of perfection, we found out we have flaws as part of our human make-up.

It is our strong belief that, no matter how bad it is, no matter how many times you do it – you always deserve another chance.  It us our hope that people may be open to giving tiger just that – a chance for taking responsibility and receiving forgiveness.

From Matt Brown, Admissions:

Many are asking about the differences between Tiger Wood’s supposed sex addiction and what most would consider “normal” drug addiction.  In my experience in working with addicts the line between the two is invisible.  The motivation for the addict is the same, whether their drug of choice is sex or cocaine.  The objective is to change how we feel in the moment.  The method of executing that change can vary from drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or a myriad of other methods.  The result is the same, we get the instant gratification we are seeking to change how we feel.
So if I’m asked what the difference is between Tiger Woods and I guy like me, whose drugs of choice were cocaine and alcohol, I say there is none.  If in fact Tiger Woods is a sex addict, we are just two guys who took different roads to get to the same place, and we both left wreckage along the way.  We both hurt spouses and family members.  On the positive side, if a person with an addiction, whatever the addiction may be, can find a way to replace the need for instant gratification with something meaningful and lasting, real happiness can be had.  It requires hard work and a strong support system, but the work is always worth it.

From Todd Welch, Director of Admissions:

The recent events in the Life of golfing icon Tiger Woods reflect a level of unmanageability with regard to love, attachment, and sex that is indicative of addiction.  Addiction research has demonstrated the strong similarity between sex and love addictions and drug and alcohol addiction, insofar as these behaviors all stimulate the reward center of the brain.  Furthermore, the antisocial aspects of infidelity can also be alluring and addictive.  The reward center of the brain desires satisfaction through the simplest means and can sometimes, in the situation of a loss of control through addiction, override the executive and social-conscience based functions of the higher brain, or frontal lobe.  Perhaps Tiger tasted the high of an enlarged and seductive romantic life and fell into the powerlessness of repeated mistakes and uncharacteristic behavior associated with addiction.  Of course, he will be chastised from the Moral camp and those who undoubtedly biased by our society’s very Judeo-Christian inheritance of ideas about sex and right relations.  In any case, the man cannot be happy at this point.  He is not a victim, unless one can victimize oneself.  He must take responsibility for the awareness of a problem in his life and internalize the need for a responsible path to recovery, happy living, and hopefully more championships.

From Justin Dufour, Admissions:

I first must start by saying that I truly believe that drug addiction, alcoholism, compulsive gambling and of course sex addiction are diseases and are a matter of powerlessness, not bad decisions.  This is an important opinion to state before diving into the Tiger Woods situation and whether or not he should or will go to a treatment center.  If you don’t buy into the disease aspect of addiction then I can assure you that you have probably never seen a loved one on countless occasions make irrational decisions for their addiction.  How else do you explain a mother abandoning a child and their duties as a parent to get a fix of heroin?  Do you really believe they don’t love their child?  If you witness a loved one who you have spent years around and truly know that they are a good person and all of a sudden when afflicted by drug addiction or alcoholism turns on everything and everyone that they have ever loved, than you are probably convinced that these kinds of addictions are all about powerlessness.  Before this blog becomes about something it’s not, I will say that addicts and alcoholics need to be held responsible for anything and everything that they do while in their hopeless state of mind and body.  They aren’t off the hook at all for their actions and especially not the addict who is shown the path to recovery because they have options and are given a spiritual tool-set that can help them recover like the millions that attend 12 step meetings every day.  So now that you know where I stand on the nature of addiction I must say that I believe there is a very good possibility that Tiger Woods is a sex addict and maybe addicted to more things that the public may not yet know about but with that said if he does choose to go to treatment for his addictions at this point in his life it will be nothing more than a public relations maneuver, and a very good one at that.

See Tiger Woods has probably the best crisis management team in the world working around the clock by his side at this time.  What these professionals do is script out every move for a star or athlete to help them start to repair the damage they have created.  And what these professionals know is that there is a large population like myself who believe that addiction is a disease of powerlessness.  So why wouldn’t they encourage Tiger to go to treatment for sex addiction, it is the ultimate ploy to turn public opinion, almost make Tiger a sympathetic figure.  Instead of “what a scumbag for doing that to that nice, young woman,” you might here more of “it’s too bad he ruined his marriage,” and “I hope he can come back from this.”  It’s brilliant.  Now they may be able to achieve this without treatment.  He could go on Oprah and cry during an interview and go back to the golf course and start winning again.  Ultimately what will bring Tiger back is some kind of public interview and winning majors which is what he does best.  There are plenty of examples in sports of these come backs, Kobe and A-rod to name a few.  Both images were done being repaired when they won world championships.  In sports there is a saying, winning cures everything, this may be sad but it’s true.  Who knows what Tiger will eventually decide to do but if he does go to treatment it won’t be because he wants recovery.  This is probably the strongest willed athlete in the history of the world and I just don’t believe at this point in his life that he believes he is powerless over anything.  This may come for him in time but it will take more heart-ache and loss.  Honestly, it may never come for him because he has so much cushioning and enabling around him that may prevent him from ever hitting a bottom.  He needs someone other than his wife to be honest with him about his behavior and when you are the world’s number one athlete and a billionaire, you just aren’t surrounded by many people to keep you in check.  When Tiger asks for something he gets it, he probably doesn’t hear the word “no” too often, don’t believe me, ask some of his mistresses.

Many are asking about the differences between Tiger Wood’s supposed sex addiction and what most would consider “normal” drug addiction.  In my experience in working with addicts the line between the two is invisible.  The motivation for the addict is the same, whether their drug of choice is sex or cocaine.  The objective is to change how we feel in the moment.  The method of executing that change can vary from drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or a myriad of other methods.  The result is the same, we get the instant gratification we are seeking to change how we feel.  So if I’m asked what the difference is between Tiger Woods and I guy like me, whose drugs of choice were cocaine and alcohol, I say there is none.  If in fact Tiger Woods is a sex addict, we are just two guys who took different roads to get to the same place, and we both left wreckage along the way.  We both hurt spouses and family members.  On the positive side, if a person with an addiction, whatever the addiction may be, can find a way to replace the need for instant gratification with something meaningful and lasting, real happiness can be had.  It requires hard work and a strong support system, but the work is always worth it.

According to Psych Central, “Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.”

Its an intriguing question to ask about the recent Tiger Woods infidelity scandal – Does T-W need to seek help for his recent behavior? Can we go as far to say he needs to complete Sexual Addiction Treatment? Would it excuse some of his ‘transgressions’ if he were to go to admit he needed help? Would it do anything for his problem given his social status, or we he just return to cheating?

Tiger’s latest actions meet some of the criteria that would suggest it might be a more serious problem.  We know, as addicts ourselves, that when the actions of our addiction start to drastically effect our family – we may need to take a closer look at the situation.