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December 15, 2004
As I write this, it is the day of my two year sobriety birthday. I look back on the past two years, and it fills me with gratitude. When I think of how I put my life in jeopardy, watched my family suffer, and had complete disregard for everyone around me, it baffles me.
Most of my “using past” just seems like a bad dream now. Each day that I stay sober the thought of ever picking up a drink or a drug gets further and further from my mind. I can honestly say today that I have lost the desire to use drugs and alcohol.
There was a time in my life that I could not fathom the idea of staying sober. I was completely run by my “disease”. My life was pretty meaningless and I was full of denial, manipulation, fear, and self-pity. I wasn’t “living” life I was merely “surviving” it.
The first year of my sobriety was not easy but I stuck it out. Once I was able to start seeing the rewards in my life, it made it much easier.
Today I definitely have the happiness, the joy, and the freedom that I had always longed for. I have my family back in my life and the problems I have today are nothing compared to the ones I created in my using. All of this I owe to the support I received from my Higher Power, friends, family, and 12-Step meetings.
It is not an easy thing to ask for help and it is even harder to stick it out. It's worth it and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you all the best.
Julie
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