I was born June 7, 1990 in Mt. Kisko New York. I had a happy childhood with a mother, father and a younger brother. My childhood was a “normal” childhood. I lived in Connecticut for the majority of my life. When I was younger I played a lot of sports. I played football, basketball and baseball. Sports were my true love at that age. In 2000 my parents got divorced. This was devastating to me. In my eyes the 2 heroes of my world just split. My life then turned upside down. I was constantly moving from my mother’s house to my father’s house weekly. It was hard because for a time I was moving from New York to Connecticut on a weekly basis. I always felt different from the rest of my friends. In a sense I felt alone. Even in a room full of friends, I still felt alone. I started then to find friends who felt the way I did.

My new group of friends were constantly getting into all types of trouble, which I willingly jumped right into. At age 13 I was getting suspended from school on a regular basis. Some of my friends were much older than me and were experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I wanted to fit in and was curious about drugs so I tried them and I loved it. I felt a part of something. I started going to school high and getting high on a regular basis in 8th grade. I started using more so I needed more money. This resulted in me stealing money from my parents.

The first time I was caught high on drugs, my parents grounded me and made me get a job. I started working at 14. I was now starting high school which to me meant more freedom. I started using heavier drugs and stayed away from home as much as possible. I used drugs throughout my freshman year and up until my mid-sophomore year everything was great. I was arrested and expelled from high school my sophomore year. I was expelled for possession and intent to sell. My parents bailed me out of jail and didn’t know what to do. I went to court and the judge advised me to go to a 30 day inpatient rehab. I went, but nothing changed. When I got out. I went right back to drugs.

All I learned in this rehab was how to hide my using better and where to get better drugs. My parents feared for me and at one point decided to start drug testing me at home. I didn’t care and it didn’t stop me from using so I would constantly fail. I would fail for a variety of different drugs. A couple months later I was admitted to the same rehab. While I was there I met a bunch of people who I thought were my “real friends”. I would hang out with them when I could and constantly get high.

The job I had at this time was my second job. I enjoyed this job and my bosses were very understanding and had a lot of hope in me. They kept my job for me every time I was in rehab or arrested. Since I was expelled, I could work a lot more. I would work some days during the week, and every weekend from 7:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. I was making good money which allowed me to pay for my own cell phone and my drug supply. Nothing could stop me from using. I was always high, even at work. It got to a point where I would get sick if I didn’t use. The job I worked was at a hardware store. I worked at the store from the time I was 15 until 17.

When I was really desperate for money I started stealing from work. I was stealing massive amounts at a time. My boss noticed money missing and installed cameras. A couple days later he showed me the tape. I was ashamed, guilty and upset. I knew something was going to happen. My boss told me he wanted to press charges but instead he told me to call my parents to get help. My parents came down to the store in rage. They told my boss it would be OK with them if I went to jail and didn’t come back for a while this time. My parents were sick of it. I didn’t know what to say or think. I knew something drastic was going to happen. My options were to run away and get charged with grand larceny and have my other charges come back into the picture and go to jail for a while or do whatever I am told and go wherever I am told.

I got on a plane and went to Gatehouse Academy. I was nervous, angry and ashamed. My parents left and I was here for the long haul, a year. I was miserable here for a while until I stopped fighting everyone and everything. When I did as I was told I started becoming less miserable. At Gatehouse I am in the process of graduating high school. I always hated school, but now I enjoy learning and finally see how important education is.

Today I have true friends, people who are always there for me rain or shine. Another thing, Gatehouse gave me is my family back. It got to a point where my family was sick and tired of me and my actions. While here I have been given the chance to work on our relationship. Now they enjoy talking to me and I enjoy talking to them.

I have noticed for once in my life that I am truly happy. I went from a hopeless dope fiend to a dope less hope fiend.

Thomas "TJ" M.